As a victim of autoimmune slavery, I am living a life I did not want, subject to the whims and sway of a tyrant. After my last blog, I received emails, texts, and social media messages asking my reason for leaving New York–plain and simple: Rheumatoid Arthritis.
I do not intend to diminish the atrocity of human slavery by comparing it with my own condition–my intent is to clarify that my life is now dictated by a body plagued with a rogue immune system. Unfortunately, my immune system is nearly as talented as myself and refuses to let up and allow me even a brief remission. Because my condition only continues to worsen, it appears I have a progressive form of the disease…however, this could change one day if I find the right treatment. Still, I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.
Yes, I talk about RA nonstop on social media and occasionally on this blog, but I write about my life and what is on my mind. Arthritis is the only thing I think about 24/7–excruciating pain is difficult to ignore. The stress keeps me up all night; packing/moving is torture; someone telling me to meditate more is asking for a toothbrush shank to the face. Unless you have experienced years of chronic pain, you cannot dismiss it as “just arthritis” without being an ignorant d*ck.
Luckily, I have amazingly supportive parents (as they should be considering this is a hereditary condition) who want me to see a million specialists this coming year…I will embrace the plan in store because I’m tired of feeling like sh*t. Hello nutritionist, I will eat as many beets as you prescribe.
Trainer, bring it! Physical therapist…we will see. Rheumy, please don’t give me methotrexate. Acupuncturist, nothing new. Dad, thanks for the bicycle…I just need a basket for Delilah. Mom…I will try not to fall through the ceiling again…especially if my brother-in-law isn’t there to save me.
I will be leaving in sixteen days (sobbing). I will take pictures of the mountains and people falling off their treadmills at the gym…because that’s just hilarious. I will take my niece and nephew trick or treating, participate in my beloved Jingle Bell 5K for Arthritis in Memphis with my sister and mom, and binge watch the cable shows I have not had access to for so long.
Even with the thought of rest and healing, I can’t help but die a little inside knowing I will miss my favorite time of the year in my favorite city in the world. Fingers crossed I return healthy to enjoy Fall/Winter 2016.