From Over 10 Years Ago…

sostupid

Most people follow passions in life because they absolutely must. Writing about my life…the excess of emotion…is the one thing I keep going back to. I’m just more comfortable silent, words screaming out from ink seeping through the fibers of my journals, text on screen. I’m a singer, but I prefer to express myself in silence. I like to narrate from the page like my favorite writers, only less talented. So, her we go again (I wrote this over a decade ago when I was naive and thought I knew everything):

Sometimes he comes to me in my sleep. He haunts my dreams and guides my waking thoughts. When I miss him, he finds me…he was always smart that way. He is the person I talk about most and the only one most don’t know. At this point, there is only one other girl who knew him before it was cool. He is my secret.

Dear Love,

I hope you are doing well. I am finally coming out from under your spell. You remain the secret I will never tell.

Dear Love,

You say I only loved you when I was bored. You were the only person who ever left me wanting more. Your love is something I will never forgive your for.

Dear Love,

You once told me to never say “goodbye.” That one statement is the reason I have been left questioning, “why?” The claim you wouldn’t treat me like some normal, asshole guy…

Dear Love,

I don’t love you anymore.

I am exhausted, I miss you, I am still up all night writing. I was always a writer, but only recently an exhibitionist. Losing you taught me to stop judging my “pen” babies.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s