Worst Pick Up Lines Ever Used on Me–True Story

cheesy-pickup-lines-14Dating BLOWS.  It is the bane of my existence..almost to the point where I wish I could get in on some sort of arranged marriage thing just to avoid having to weed out all the douche faces in New York.  However, sometimes you boys do the work for me…and I write about it.

Behold!  The worst pick up lines/first impressions ever used on me.

  1. “I see you aren’t drinking…what medications are you on?”

2.  “I just moved here.  Notice the accent?  Fancy a F*ck?”

3.  “Hey, I’m Dave’s roommate.  I am going to go lay in my bed. Feel free to join me.”

4.  (Online) “So I see you have Rheumatoid Arthritis.  Not sure what that is and too lazy (lol) to google it.  Can you just give me a summary or something”

5.  “Sorry we never spoke before. I thought you were a lesbian.”

6.  “Are you into cuckolding?”

7.  “I’m planning a gang bang this weekend and you look decent enough…”

8.  “I need green card”

9.  “This may sound unusual, but I’m looking for someone to take a **** on my chest.”

I will end this post on that note.  Boys, you are pretty disgusting and should bury your heads in shame.  I am a classy b*tch and deserve to be treated as such–at least bring me flowers first.


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