Sh*t Guys Get Wrong

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I am sure there are plenty of great guys in the world, but most of them suck at dating.  I also suck at dating, therefore, I have inside knowledge from my own past failures and years spent picking out stupid guys.  So listen up boys, because despite how good your dinner was, how cute you are, or the unbelievable connection you felt during your casual dinner convo., you still have ample time to screw up your chance at getting another date.

  1. Waiting two days to call/text:  Seriously, ask anyone with a vagina…if a girl doesn’t hear from you for two days, she thinks you aren’t into her…at least not enough to pick up the phone and hit a few keys.  If you had an awesome date and you want to see her again, text her that night and let her know.  Girls don’t like games!–if a guy likes a girl and wants to see her again, telling her that night is the biggest compliment in the world.
  1. Asking a girl if you can kiss her:  I can hardly think of anything less romantic than having an amazing date, being walked to my front door, and being asked for permission to be kissed.  There is a reason why women chase bad boys: they are confident and take risks (secretly, everyone wishes they were as brave..thus the appeal) .  So JUST KISS HER!  If she doesn’t like it, she will pull away…big deal!…but there is nothing sexy about asking for permission.
  1. Sexually explicit texts after one date:  Dude…sending raunchy texts before you really know someone makes you look like a total dog and total waste of time.
  1. Picking a restaurant without considering her food preferences: Taking a vegetarian to a steakhouse means your date is going home hungry and you are never going to see her again.
  1. Asking her a question and discounting or making fun of the answer:  If you ask your date what her favorite book, movie, or TV show is…do not negatively judge her response.  If she enjoys “The Bachelor”…just let her have it.  You may never watch the show with her, but she hasn’t asked you to at this point and if she ever does, you can open a book and allow her that guilty pleasure.
  1. Buying her a gift you want or is a household appliance:  Because some chicks aren’t into xbox or playstation…and I certainly don’t ever see myself unwrapping a crockpot on my birthday and not throwing it at the giver.

These rules are basically universal and should be followed until you really get to know the woman you are seeing.  Of course, likes and dislikes vary, but this list is generated almost entirely from common sense (which men generally seem to lack).  So, just be a gentleman–open the door for her, tell her she looks beautiful, and don’t be a d*ck.

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