I find older men extremely attractive. They are more considerate, confident, established…and have ex-wives who have saved you a lot of time moulding them into the adults they are today. Sure, your guy may need little reminders that you have different tastes than his ex-wife, but one can forgive the rare slip-up.
In my early to mid twenties, I dated artists and students (ie: waiters) almost exclusively. We were all basically kids, still trying to figure out our lives and exhilarated by the unknown outcomes of our futures. My spontaneous interactions with like-minded individuals and having a blast on the journey to maturation was a priority in regards to my love life. Most of my romantic involvements were mere “showmances” (dating or seeing someone with whom you are working with–usually associated with theatrical plays)…then I retired, went back to school, and grew the f*ck up.
For most people, there comes a day when your search for fun becomes a search for the one. Some women attribute their change of focus and behavior to that “biological clock” thing; I know many men and women are pressured by their families to settle down whether due to custom or grandma getting antsy. As for myself, I was just over playboys and dating in general. I decided to open myself up to the possibility of finding a man who was/is the polar opposite of my past conquests. The idea of consciously choosing someone normal, a man with the ability to reel in my personal brand of crazy, made total sense! The “type” of men I was drawn to for years were horrible dissapointments. It was time to stop blaming the guys I was seeing and admit I was the one at fault–I was picking self-involved boys who used the line “I need to work on my craft right now” as an excuse to be flakes. Turns out, they were complete tools.
When I began dating my ex-boyfriend, I was shocked by how little the 14-year age gap mattered. Our first date was the best I had ever been on. At barely twenty-eight, I was treated like an adult for the first time in my life. He paid for everything, was more interested in what I had to say than talking about himself, and he didn’t wait two days to call. Our relationship lasted 2 ½ years and he remains my best friend (because he is mature enough to handle being friends with his ex).
My current boyfriend is 16-years-older than myself and has given me so many things no other boyfriend has: the promise of a joint future, reminders that I am a priority in his life, sweet surprises to help me get through stress (anywhere from roses to grocery delivery when I am sick), and he never tries to hide his emotions. He provides the devotion and stability I crave, has two amazing kids, and worships the ground I walk on (as he should–I am a trophy).
The wisdom, patience, and comfort older men with children provide is intoxicating. I know I can turn to my boyfriend for guidance and a boost in morale…even sobbing during video chats doesn’t scared him away–as a father, he knows just what to say to calm me down. I look back and realize I was either an idiot or ignorant for over half a decade. Why are bad boys so appealing? Having a safe place to fall and a reliable man to catch you is the most exciting feeling in the world.