Divorced Older Men: The Dating World’s Best Kept Secret

I find older men extremely attractive.  They are more considerate, confident, established…and have ex-wives who have saved you a lot of time moulding them into the adults they are today.  Sure, your guy may need little reminders that you have different tastes than his ex-wife, but one can forgive the rare slip-up.

In my early to mid twenties, I dated artists and students (ie: waiters) almost exclusively.  We were all basically kids, still trying to figure out our lives and exhilarated by the unknown outcomes of our futures.  My spontaneous interactions with like-minded individuals and having a blast on the journey to maturation was a priority in regards to my love life.  Most of my romantic involvements were mere “showmances” (dating or seeing someone with whom you are working with–usually associated with theatrical plays)…then I retired, went back to school, and grew the f*ck up.

For most people, there comes a day when your search for fun becomes a search for the one.  Some women attribute their change of focus and behavior to that “biological clock” thing; I know many men and women are pressured by their families to settle down whether due to custom or grandma getting antsy.  As for myself, I was just over playboys and dating in general.  I decided to open myself up to the possibility of finding a man who was/is the polar opposite of my past conquests.  The idea of consciously choosing someone normal, a man with the ability to reel in my personal brand of crazy, made total sense!  The “type” of men I was drawn to for years were horrible dissapointments.  It was time to stop blaming the guys I was seeing and admit I was the one at fault–I was picking self-involved boys who used the line “I need to work on my craft right now” as an excuse to be flakes.  Turns out, they were complete tools.

bring you flowers for no reason other than they make you smile

2 dozen roses to make me smile

When I began dating my ex-boyfriend, I was shocked by how little the 14-year age gap mattered.  Our first date was the best I had ever been on.  At barely twenty-eight, I was treated like an adult for the first time in my life.  He paid for everything, was more interested in what I had to say than talking about himself, and he didn’t wait two days to call.  Our relationship lasted 2 ½ years and he remains my best friend (because he is mature enough to handle being friends with his ex).

My current boyfriend is 16-years-older than myself and has given me so many things no other boyfriend has: the promise of a joint future, reminders that I am a priority in his life, sweet surprises to help me get through stress (anywhere from roses to grocery delivery when I am sick), and he never tries to hide his emotions.  He provides the devotion and stability I crave, has two amazing kids, and worships the ground I walk on (as he should–I am a trophy).

my boyfriend...he's pretty amazing

my boyfriend…he’s pretty amazing

The wisdom, patience, and comfort older men with children provide is intoxicating.  I know I can turn to my boyfriend for guidance and a boost in morale…even sobbing during video chats doesn’t scared him away–as a father, he knows just what to say to calm me down.  I look back and realize I was either an idiot or ignorant for over half a decade.  Why are bad boys so appealing?  Having a safe place to fall and a reliable man to catch you is the most exciting feeling in the world.


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